It's late and I really need some sleep. Four day work weeks can be good at times. But at other times, not so good. I find that when I have Monday off that the week is harder to work through than when I have Friday off. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way. Anyway, it was a very busy and stressful day today...and a short week isn't exactly what the doctor ordered.
I'm not perfect. I just can't do it. I've tried. I've tried many times...even today. But I just can't seem to get there. Long ago, I started living by the mantra of "not being a perfectionist, but striving for perfection in everything I do". As of late, it doesn't even seem that I can find myself striving for perfection in what I do. It's hard to make mistakes and live with them when the eyes of the world are upon you. Those eyes have been upon me for as long as I can remember. And if for no other reason, it's for that one reason as to why I strive to be perfect. Granted I've said for years that I'm not concerned with how other people think of me or feel about me. But yet I don't want to make any mistakes out of fear of how it might look. A contradiction, I know.
So, I've confessed that I'm not perfect and confession is supposed to make one feel better. Why don't I feel better?
Final thoughts... I wish I were more perfect than I am now. I know that life wouldn't be any easier. But maybe, just maybe, I could figure things out a bit quicker...and understand things better.
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