Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Newsflash: I'm Not Perfect...

It's late and I really need some sleep.  Four day work weeks can be good at times.  But at other times, not so good.  I find that when I have Monday off that the week is harder to work through than when I have Friday off.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.  Anyway, it was a very busy and stressful day today...and a short week isn't exactly what the doctor ordered.

I'm not perfect.  I just can't do it.  I've tried.  I've tried many times...even today.  But I just can't seem to get there.  Long ago, I started living by the mantra of "not being a perfectionist, but striving for perfection in everything I do".  As of late, it doesn't even seem that I can find myself striving for perfection in what I do.  It's hard to make mistakes and live with them when the eyes of the world are upon you.  Those eyes have been upon me for as long as I can remember.  And if for no other reason, it's for that one reason as to why I strive to be perfect.  Granted I've said for years that I'm not concerned with how other people think of me or feel about me.  But yet I don't want to make any mistakes out of fear of how it might look.  A contradiction, I know.

So, I've confessed that I'm not perfect and confession is supposed to make one feel better.  Why don't I feel better?

Final thoughts...  I wish I were more perfect than I am now.  I know that life wouldn't be any easier.  But maybe, just maybe, I could figure things out a bit quicker...and understand things better.

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